


Captain Dudley

by HarvestGreen



Series: Dumb answers to funny questions in the HP universe [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, The 'T' rating is probably excessive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 07:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30102732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarvestGreen/pseuds/HarvestGreen
Summary: Captain Dudley leads his men in a charge against the french.
Series: Dumb answers to funny questions in the HP universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2215029
Kudos: 1





	Captain Dudley

“Captain Dudley!” 

The trenches are filled with the screams of men, the air above singing with bullets.

“Status report!” bellows Dudley.

“It’s as good as it’s going to get. We’re ready for your command, SIR!” his lieutenant bellows back, not quite as loudly.

“Prepare for a rifle charge men! We may die, but our swords will be stained with the blood of the frogs!” 

“Yes, Sir!” 

“Are you with me?!” 

“SIR, YES SIR!”

Dudley leads the charge out of the trench, his ever loyal men at his side, bullets whizzing by his ears as he swings his massive sword.

They reach the enemy lines, and Dudley kills two with his every stroke. His unit is breaking through, foot by bloody foot. 

Then a booming sound thrums deep through him, chilling his bones. 

“Take cover!” he yells, diving to the ground.

His men are screaming, dying. The enemy will crush them if nothing is done to stop whatever’s making that noise. Dudley crawls fearlessly to the ridge, from the top of which the pounding beat of the enemy artillery is coming. He takes in a deep breath, springs up, and charges up the ridge, a fierce war cry on his lips.

He crests it, and prepares to strike down the - the - there’s nothing there. Where is it?

“Where’s the cannon?” he says, befuddled, as a giant with hands like thrash can lids breaks down the door.

**Author's Note:**

> The question in question, as you've probably figured, is 'Why did Dudley assume it was a cannon?'. There is just about nothing more to this. Oh yeah, he's fighting the french 'cause he's english. There was no other option.


End file.
